Thursday, August 27, 2009

last day at Tagged

Missing Tagged

My third "last day" experience, and by far this was the most enjoyable. This is because the entire term has been a blast! I've done far more than in previous work terms, and the work itself has been interesting. Analytics was fun, and random math and stats problems were fun too. I had the most awesome boss that I could ever ask for. I also had food! I love food! My evaluation of Tagged is pure awesomeness. If any of you is thinking of a co-op or full time position in software, at least consider Tagged.

As for Tagged's evaluation with me - I was really surprised at how positive it was, and I almost felt guilty. There are many things I haven't done so well. I screwed up a LOT, but my boss didn't seem to mind. Compared to the other interns, I was the clueless one who couldn't remember the command "ssh", who didn't know how to write a batch script, who couldn't spot a geometric series, and who took two days to write a feature that would've taken another intern a few hours to complete. Then it was pointed out, and this is true I suppose, that's it's about expectations. I am a second year math student, and there's a set of expectations attached to that that I'm measured against.

Missing the City

I feel like a child again, with the same nostalgia felt when I first began reflecting the lost times that would never come back. I sit here and think of everything that happened here, in the last four months. At first I was utterly confused, and wasn't sure how long it would take for me to become comfortable. Eventually it got better, Raj and I explored the city, I started getting used to working with the code base for analytics first, then web. Then there are the countless breakfasts at Pat's, walks to the wharf, climbs up Taylor/Lombard, and Ghirardelli's - yum. Is it childish to reminisce also at the trips to the laundry room? And this room... I look out from here: Raj is at his computer as usual, and beyond that there's the large window, the balcony, then Columbus, then the Indian/Irish place we'd always go to, and also Pat's, then the rest of North Beach, then Alcatraz, engulfed by fog ... everything seems so natural, so right, so ... homey. I don't want to leave!!

If you liked it so much, why aren't you coming back?!?!?

It's tempting, really tempting, but if you read my letter to the world, you'd realize that working at Tagged isn't really the goal I should pursue. What I got out from Tagged was really two folds: (1) I gained more focus, more used to thinking, and (2) I learned a new set of tools which I could use for any purpose I choose. Point 1 will still be applicable if I come back, but point 2 wouldn't be. I want either something that resonates more with my passions, or an experience that I can draw a completely different tool from, or... both!

In my blog post "Turning Twenty" written last December, I mentioned "going home" as a large open-ended goal for the next decade. Then life threw San Francisco at me - the furthest thing from home in any way you could think about: I'm far from Greg, I'm far from any place I've been to, it was my first programming job, I had no knowledge of anyone here except a friend of a friend (Adam), and a guy who lives up in the mountains (whom I don't really know). At the time, I thought this was life saying to me again, "No, not yet! You haven't seen it all!" But now that I think about it... maybe life was helping me find home. Maybe life was helping me find home all along. Thanks, life! We're definitely getting warmer! (But we can't settle for anything less)

End of Entry